Question:

 

Is it possible for a Jewish married couple to separate and agree on a civilised divorce option which would come into play if one or both of them decided to end the marriage after a ‘cooling off’ period ?

 

Answer:

 

Yes. A married couple can have a separation agreement drafted which would include a divorce option. If they wish to avoid a ‘dirty divorce’ where one side uses the threat of refusing to divorce as a bargaining tool to get a better deal, they can include one or two paragraphs in the agreement whereby the husband undertakes not to bind certain issues if he does file for divorce – namely his wife’s maintenance and their property relations. They can go even further – they can agree that should one or both of them wish to divorce – the family court will have exclusive jurisdiction over child custody, and all maintenance and property issues.

 

This will avoid complications associated with the ‘jurisdictional race’ whereby the wife tries to file for these issues at the family court before the husband files for divorce at a rabbinical court. If he does file for divorce first then child custody is automatically bound to the plea, but he can also bind his wife’s maintenance and property issues. If the couple do make a written agreement giving the family court exclusive jurisdiction regarding child custody, maintenance and property , then what will remain between them should they finally decide to end their marriage will be a pure, civil dispute, without any emotional or financial blackmail regarding the ‘get’ (divorce) itself.