Question:

 

I have discovered that my wife has been cheating on me for sometime

now. I cannot accept her behaviour, and don’t want to forgive her. Can I get a divorce at the rabbinical court ?

 

Answer:

 

Yes, adultery is a recognisable ground for divorce under Jewish law.

If your wife does not want to divorce, but you do and file for it at the

rabbinical court, you will need to produce evidence, unless of course she

admits to it, which is rare.

 

Alternatively, if your wife agrees to divorce, you can proceed to work on a comprehensive settlement covering finance, child custody etc.

  

Question:

 

Can a rabbinical court order a woman to divorce her husband is she admits to adultery and living with another man – but there are no witnesses ?

 

Answer:

 

The Greater Rabbinical Court has held that where a wife admits adultery or cohabitation with another man but there are no witnesses the rabbinical court can recommend that she divorce, but it cannot oblige her to do so.

 

  

Question:

 

Can a husband have grounds for divorcing his wife under Jewish law if she spends time with other men if adultery cannot be proved ?

 

Answer:

 

If a husband cannot prove adultery but has warned his wife about spending time with other men it may be possible for him to get a rabbinical court to order his wife to accept a divorce . Under Jewish law if two witnesses give evidence about hearing the husband warning his wife not to go to a ‘hidden place’ with another man then grounds may exist for divorce if she disobeys .

  

Case:

 

My husband and I once took part in group sex with another married couple. He has now threatened to use this against me in divorce proceedings he says he is going to take against me. I do not want to break up the family. Could the rabbinical court order me to divorce because of evidence given by the man I had intercourse with during this group sex ?

 

 

Answer:

 

Yes, in principle evidence given about a wife’s participation in group sex could be accepted by a rabbinical court dealing with a divorce plea filed by her husband . If it considered that the evidence was strong enough to prove adultery – which is a ground for divorce in Jewish law – then it could order her to divorce. In Jewish law two witnesses are needed to prove any matter. Evidence of a close relative – including that of a husband – bears little weight, but that of another man, for example the other male particpant in the group sex mentioned , can prove decisive, if his testimony is not torn to pieces on cross-examination.

  

Question:

 

Is a married woman who communicates with men over the internet and meets them on dates in danger of giving her husband grounds for divorce ?

 

Answer:

 

Yes, Communicating with other men over the internet and meeting them as a result gives rise to the suspicion that she is having intimate relations outside of her marriage. Under Jewish law “ugly acts” on the part of a wife e.g. communicating over the internet and meeting them – are divorce grounds for a husband, but the panel of rabbinical judges have considerable discretion in the matter where there is no evidence of full adultery.

  

Question:

 

I have discovered that my wife has been advertising herself on internet dating websites. Is this sufficient grounds for divorce under Jewish law ?

 

 

Answer:

 

Although advertising on internet dating website is not itself sufficient evidence of adultery, which is grounds for divorce under Jewish law, it would most probably amount to ‘ugly behaviour’ in the eyes of a rabbinical court. ‘Ugly behaviour’ is – in the eyes of Jewish law and the rabbinical court - negative behaviour on the wife’s part justifying grounds for divorce by the husband as it lays the seeds for adultery. Clearly if you have additional evidence – that she actually communicated and dated – rather than merely advertised over the internet, your case will be stronger.

  

 

Question:

 

My wife has been having long phone conversations with another man over a considerable period of time. Do I have grounds for divorce ?

 

Answer:

 

Yes, if a married woman has endless, long phone conversations with another man over a period of time this could well be divorce grounds for her husband, as her behaviour gives rise to suspicion that she is having intimate relations with this person. Under Jewish law a suspicion of intimate relations on the part of a wife is grounds for a husband to divorce her.

  

 

Question:

 

I caught my wife writing a love letter to a man. I snatched it from her and won’t give it back. If the rabbinical court sees it, will it be grounds for divorce ?

 

Answer:

 

If the love letter is submitted to the rabbinical court as evidence and it is satisfied that it is genuine i.e. was written by the wife, and that , on the basis of its contents, she was having intimate relations with the man, then it could form the evidential basis of a divorce judgment granted by the rabbinical court on the grounds of adultery. If so, then the wife could lose her maintenance up to the time of her divorce, and her rights under her Ketuba (Jewish marriage contract).

  

 

Question:

 

Many years ago my wife was sexually harassed by another man. She brought legal proceedings against him , won and was compensated financially. I want to divorce her. Can use this incident of sexual harassment as a ground for divorce under Jewish law ?

 

Answer:

 

No ! Sexual harassment of a wife by a third party does not constitute grounds for a man to divorce under Jewish law , especially where the husband continued living with her, and was regarded as having accepted the situation.

Furthermore, in your case, the fact that she brought legal action against this man and won indicates very strongly that she was against the advances of this man , and not encouraging him ,and , therefore, was not committing "ugly acts", which are a discretionary ground for divorce.

  

Question:

 

Am I entitled to divorce my wife under Jewish law because she makes fun of me in front of our children, shouts and humiliates me in front of family and friends? She has even started throwing objects at me .

 

Answer:

 

Yes, such behaviour is a transgression of Jewish law, and a ground for divorce. However, if you forgive your wife, either explicitly or implicitly by continuing to live with her and having intimate relations, you cannot then rely on her previous transgressions as grounds upon which you ask the rabbinical court to order her to accept a “get” (divorce).

  

Question:

 

My wife suffers from mental problems and I find it very difficult to live with her. She receives psychiatric treatment and is on medically prescribed drugs to ‘balance her’. They make her condition manageable. Nevertheless I want a divorce. Is this possible under Jewish law ?

 

 

Answer:

 

Jewish law distinguishes between severe and irreversible psychiatric/mental conditions which result in the sufferer being totally cut off from reality and less severe conditions where the person does, from time to time, understand what is going on around them, with or without taking medication.

 

If a Jewish wife suffers from a severe, irreversible psychiatric condition, then she will lack the capacity to consent to divorce. In this situation the husband can apply to the rabbinical court for permission to ‘take another wife’ without divorcing her.

 

Where a Jewish wife suffers from less severe psychiatric problems and her condition can be ‘balanced’ with medically prescribed drugs so that she does not show symptoms of the mental condition she is prone to , then divorce is possible. She can possess the capacity to understand the concept of divorce with all its implications – and is legally able to consent to it. Her husband can, therefore, file for divorce at the rabbinical court, detailing the grounds. If he manages to prove his case then he will be able to actually divorce, subject to his wife being ‘balanced’ and co-operative at the relevant times.

  

 

Question :

 

I come from a traditional Sephardic background, where my mother kept a strictly Kosher kitchen and where we observed Shabbat. My wife comes from Eastern Europe, and is used to eating pig , shell fish and mixing milk and meat. She does not keep a Kosher kitchen and prepares me non-Kosher food. She does not Observe Shabbat either. All this is totally against my upbringing and beliefs. I have asked her time and time again to change her ways but she refuses. I feel I have no choice but to divorce her just because of these and other ways she breaks Jewish law. Is a wife’s non-observance of Shabbat and keeping of a non-Kosher kitchen grounds for divorce under Jewish law ?

 

Answer:

 

Transgressing Jewish Law is one of the behavioural – based grounds of divorce available to a Jewish husband. By not keeping Jewish law the wife is regarded as failing her husband and leading her husband astray from the correct path. An example would be where she falsely claims to keep a Kosher home but actually feeds her husband 'Treife ' like pig meat or non-Kosher food . The same applies if she openly desecrates the Sabbath and he observes it. If, however, the husband does not observe the Sabbath he cannot divorce his wife because she does not observe it. Also, if the wife can prove she mistakenly acted in a forbidden manner she will have a defence against her husband’s claim that she knowingly broke Jewish law.

  

Question:

 

My wife and I are Jewish and live in the South of Israel. We immigrated several years ago. Because of Kasssam rockets being fired she has become extremely uncomfortable about living here and will hardly go out for fear of a terrorist attack. She wants to return to the States . I don’t. Is her desire to leave Israel  a ground for me to divorce her under Jewish law ?

 

Answer:

 

Jewish law gives a preference to living in Israel as opposed to the Diaspora .

A spouse’s desire to leave Israel can be sufficient grounds for divorce if held to be unjustifiable given all the circumstances. The built-in bias is not absolute and during periods when “aliyah” was dangerous a spouse’s refusal to emigrate to Israel was considered justifiable, and , therefore, not sufficient to merit grounds for divorce. Your wife’s desire to leave Israel could be grounds for divorce if a rabbinical court felt that her refusal to stay was unjustifiable.

 

If you do not want to divorce you could apply for “Shlom Bayit” ( plea for marital reconciliation) at the rabbinical court and ask for an order preventing her leaving the country. This may “buy time” and help if the rift in your marriage can be healed. Under Jewish law a wife is expected to respect her husband’s desire to move within the country they live in – so you could suggest a quieter location within Israel and your wife cannot unjustifiably refuse unless she wants to risk losing her right to maintenance.